Resolution of Happiness

130 days and counting....that is how long we have until the starting line of our 26.2 mile run.

7 days and counting...that is how long we have until the starting line of our very first race. An 8k on Thanksgiving Day. Yesterday, we filled out the registration and paid the entrance fee for our first official run. I am a little freaked. Not so much about running the 5 miles but about getting to the starting line. The worst part of my personality is that I am not a very good starter; I am okay once I get there but the anxiety of getting to the beginning almost requires self-medicating.

Last weeks training was okay. Not my favorite, mostly because Wed through Sat were on all machines and not outdoors. I much prefer the change in scenery, even if it does require the occasional dodging of vehicles that don't expect a woman to be out running at 5:30 in the morning. I still managed to total 22 miles last week. Woo Hoo!!

This week has started out well. I had a great Monday and did 4 miles in 40 minutes. I was booking it. I don't know where the spurt of energy came from. It has been cold, I think I just wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. Today I did another 4 but it took 50 minutes. Seriously, it took me almost 20 to do the first mile, but then I kept good pace. It was 22 degrees when I ran this morning at 4:45am (Ted had to go to work earlier today). Maybe that was the problem, that is too early and too freaking cold.....

So, this Saturday we start running our long runs with the local running club. I am excited and nervous. Hoping there are more beginners than just Ted and I. But they teach us how to refuel and have other clinics and there are about 100 runners that we will be able to learn from.

This weeks song I like for the fact that it is a classic and like most of my other choices has some great guitar that keeps me moving at 5am. While I realize my choices are not the usual hip-hoppy aerobic/cardio expectations of an athletes playlist, I will not apologize for enjoying good music.

INXS: Don't Change

Breathing Life

It is officially week 5.

Ted and I both stayed even on the weigh-in this week. Not bad. Considering the extra days off and the extra calories over the weekend. I did my measurements this week. I have lost over 8 inches. I dunno if I did the math right because I only measured one thigh, calf, forearm and bicep. I have lost 3.5 on my waist, but still haven't changed pant size, I don't know what that is all about.

I would call this weeks training triumphant. Tuesday I was able to add an extra mile to my run/walk and still kept my time at 12min miles. Today, Thursday, was a big day for me. I only did 2 miles but I ran the entire way. Up this crazy hill that has been mocking me on a daily basis. Today, that hill had nothing on me. I pushed through and made it up both times.

I actually started crying when I got to the end of the two miles. All week it has been on my mind to run two miles straight and conquer those hills. Ted told me I should be proud of myself if I could make it around one mile. These are pretty intense hills and I know he was trying to make sure I didn't disappoint myself. So, the alarm went off at 4:42am, I lay there for a few minutes talking myself into getting up. Hit the alarm when it goes off the second time, right then our dog walks in to check on us. I crawl out of bed, pee, brush my teeth (yes, I brush my teeth before I go), get dressed, stretch, grab my water, grab my keys and ipod. Yikes, it was freaking cold (28 degrees). I walked the first 5 minutes to warm up, which wasn't working. Then I just started running and kept running and the first hill came and I kept going. It was so strange, on the downhills I could actually feel my heart rate going down and my breathing ease up. Then up the next hill, down the next. Before I knew it, I had done it twice, 10 min miles.

I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have been truly proud of myself. Particularly for something that was up to only me. When I tagged the back of our minivan, I broke into tears. I did it. Me. I ran that @#$% hill. Today, I am a conqueror because I believed I could do it....

To add to the playlist, it is a great song by one of my favorite groups, Skillet. (disclaimer: the video is a little graphic; clips from the movie "We Were Soldiers")

Skillet: Comatose

I'll Come Runnin'

"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp, or are you going to be strong today?'" --Peter Maher,

I have never really considered myself a strong person. Physically; I am pretty strong, for a girl. Mentally; I am my own worst enemy. In record breaking time I could give myself a thousand reasons why running a marathon is a ridiculous notion. While I am reading some of the wonderful books that are preparing me for the run, I can feel the pressure push in on my chest. I can barely breathe when I think about running the entire 26.2 miles.

Four of my five training days I set the alarm clock for an insane hour, giving myself a few extra minutes to hit the snooze button at least once. In my 9 minute wait until I have to get out of bed, I try with all of my might to overcome the voices in my head. Can I do this? Will I make it? Deep down in me I have to know that I am worth this. It is not the hard work that is the problem, its convincing myself that I, Angie, can be and will be a marathon runner.

I have an amazing accountability partner, Sarah. She is the one that got this crazy idea in my head to begin with. We check in with each other every Monday with our progress and weigh-ins. I was fairly discouraged at the beginning of this week. I had one bad run last week where my legs were bricks and I had cut it short. My weigh-in went the wrong way on the scale, which just sucks. Sarah reminded me, today, of the hard work I am putting in. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for lifting me up in my time of self doubt and weakness. I only hope I can be the same encouragement when you need me.

I needed the change in perspective. I needed to stop the overwhelming pressure of the forest and just focus on the trees. I need to focus one day at a time. I forgot that I had run 14 miles last week. Me, Angie, I ran 14 miles. GO ME!!

Today I was strong, tomorrow the alarm will go off and I will again decide to be strong.

A special song for all of the friends that keep me moving.

Carole King: You've Got A Friend